Sculptor’s Attitude

Sculptor’s Attitude
by Author Unknown

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friend or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because the Lord has provide shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a GREAT DAY……unless you have other plans.

Most of my life, I never really had the greatest attitude about life. Growing up I was beaten down. I had low self-esteem, zero to no confidence, I was never good enough and could never do good enough.

My adult life wasn’t much better. Bad relationships, bad choices. Nothing I ever did or said was good enough for those who were supposed to love me. All I ever heard was criticism, everything I did wrong was thrown in my face… nothing I did right was ever praised… no thank you… no good job, well done. None of the things that make people feel good about themselves.

This was all pounded into me day after day and I believed it. Who wouldn’t after being told constantly?

Herein lies my biggest problem… well okay one of my biggest problems. (Anger being the other but that’s for another blog.)

I’ve been trying so hard to overcome all the bad that has happened to me throughout my life. I’ve been trying to shake off all the negativity that has plagued me since childhood. I get close… so very close and then BOOM!! Something happens inside my head, just like a switch is flipped and all my hard work seems to disappear. Positive attitude vanishes to be replaced once again by the negativity and self-doubt/hate/whatever.

It seems to be a constant battle for me. Why? I think I have some kind of short circuit inside my head… no seriously. There’s no real concrete reason for me to feel so negative.

This drives not only me crazy but my wife crazy as well. I frustrate the hell out of her and in turn I frustrate the hell out of myself which frustrates her more… on and on. It’s a wonder I haven’t driven that woman over the edge! Sometimes I don’t know how she stands me or why/how she could love me.

I wish there was some kind of “easy” button to adjust my attitude when I fall back into the negative.

The real kicker… I have the ability to be positive. I know it’s inside me and I am capable of really being positive. We joke sometimes about it being one of my alternate personalities (I seem to have a few of these alternate personalities that creep through at times.) If I could just some how grab hold of all the good, positive traits of my various personalities and mesh them all together… I want to… I need to. I ‘m just not sure how exactly but I have to work harder on it.

~ by asinnerasaint on August 12, 2007.